Today Dave was much better and went with us to the zoo. He was pretty wiped out, but he made it! The kids really enjoyed the animals. We really lucked out at the panda exhibit. One of pandas outdoors came to life and climbed a tree just a few feet away from us! He also chewed on some bamboo while we were looking on. It was awesome! Previously, we had only witnessed sleeping pandas, so this was areal treat.
After the zoo we went across the street to “Dongwuyuan shichang”. It is a zoo of another kind. The XiDan market all over again. Anaia picked out a pink athletic suit with “Xi Yang Yang” on it. It was very touching. She spotted it, admired it, and asked if she could have it. I asked her if she really liked it. She answered, “Yes!” and as I was telling her we would ask if they had her size, she got a very concerned look on her face and said, “But mama- 50 kuai!!!” ($7.50) I told her not to worry and she looked up at me in surprise. The look she gave me will stay with me for eternity. She had that “I can’t believe you would spend that much money on me” look in her eyes. I told her we were definitely going to buy it and she broke out into a HUGE smile. It was like a VISA commercial- priceless.
Everyone walked away with something and all was well. Anaia had an amazing day. She was more content and peaceful. I think she was very happy that all of the paperwork was complete and she is now officially our daughter. She liked hearing us explain that to her. We got a lot of smiles. When we returned to the hotel, she told me that again today she was very happy. At one point she went around the room giving us each a big bear hug like squeeze very affectionately. It was looking like it was going to be a picture perfect day until 5:45. Right before Simon came to meet us for dinner, she had a total meltdown. After some help from Simon and a lot of thought, I have figured out what may be going on. The meltdowns have occurred when the girls are occupied with things/people other than her. (Same goes for the misbehavior) The girls were all reading/coloring and she was flitting around poking, teasing, grabbing, and them. They were ignoring the behavior and it just kept escalating until she went too far. I think she is jealous/insecure when we are paying too much attention to others and she gets worried and goes haywire trying to bring the attention back to her. It has negative results so she gets concerned about what we may be thinking/saying about her and then melts down. Again, the melt down brought good things afterward. I spontaneously squeezed her hand and said, “WenLiang, I love you.” on the way to dinner. She didn’t respond, but when we stopped by a shop on our walk after dinner she asked again for me to buy her this little panda keychain she has been wanting. This time I agreed. After I bought it she gave it to me and said she bought it for me as a gift to her mama. One of the reasons this is especially sweet is that when you squeeze the panda he makes a kissing sound and says, “I love you.” in English. (When she says it to us it is always in English.) We really made a concerted effort to give her a lot of positive attention after dinner- Lexie even carried her back to the hotel on her back. Again she promised to not lie or spit on anyone again. She really is trying so hard. She went to each of the girls tonight and said, “I love you!” Tonight at bedtime she wanted many, many kisses. In fact, she got up from bed twice so that I would come and tuck her in again. J How can I reprimand her for getting out of bed when that is what she is hoping for?????
Mia did tell Michela that this is how she acted in the room at the CWI when the nannies weren’t around. She is obviously not afraid of us- which is a good thing. Simon sat next to her at dinner and talked with her some. I think he helped get her regulated and he was able to shed some light on what is going on in her head. Also, I think I forgot to mention that Anaia was not in foster care at all. She spent the first 9 years at the BCWI #1 and then the last year at the #2. She went to one school by the #1 for 1st grade, and then another school next to the #2 for 2nd grade. This whole family dynamics thing is completely foreign to her. What a thing to try and digest at 10 years old!!!
Bedtime has become such an upper for me. There is nothing like having a child squirm and giggle with anticipation waiting for your kisses…and then keep wanting more and more. We have a lot of time to make up for her and I…so many years without her mama’s love...I look forward to filling her up again and again and again and again…
Subscribe To RSS Feed
