She is still sleeping in our room as I work on releasing my own fears and concerns.  It has been difficult as her mom to know that I was in the basement munching on popcorn as she was upstairs seizing and choking.  I am hesitant to put the horrible responsibility back on Anaia’s shoulders to hear her and come to her rescue again.  No child should have to carry that…  So, we plan on buying a video monitor for her bed area and once we get and install it, we will transition her back to her room.  The girls moved her things to the bottom bunk right after we returned home, so that everything would be ready for her.  Right now, she is enjoying the “continuous slumber party” with mom and dad.  I have to admit, I do really enjoy waking up to her crawling onto our bed and curling up next to me every morning…

I really cannot express my sincere thanks to everyone who has been praying over Sophia and our family.  To know we are being lifted up by so many, is beyond meaningful and is why I believe I can now sleep at night.   Thank you to everyone who contacted us and supported us.  We are very blessed to have such a beautiful family in Christ.  We believe in the power of prayer and I have a renewed sense of peace regarding Sophia’s future.  God provides precisely what we need when we need it.

Sophia’s friend Lily came to visit her in the hospital and spent some time sharing her experience with some of the machines Sophia was currently hooked up to.  Lily had foot surgery over the summer and spent a little time in recovery.  It was really comforting to Sophia to have Lily “normalize” her situation by being able to relate to it.  One week after Sophia recovered, another friend was admitted to the same hospital with a potentially dangerous infection.  Sophia was able to go to her friend and help normalize things for her… 

My uncle was born with cerebral palsy and suffered from seizures much of his life.  He died from aspirating on his vomit during a seizure he suffered when he has the flu.  This incident with Sophia hit very close to home for me.  I know this was not by accident.  The Enemy seeks out our weaknesses and attacks when He sees the time is right.  I know that adoption encompasses the very heart of God.  He has adopted all who will accept His love as His won sons and daughters.  I know I torment the Enemy when I proclaim the desire of God though our journals or talks to reach out and care for the lost and forgotten in our world.  I know the burning hatred He has for those who love God.  Satan has rained down on us before…and He will surely strike again, and again, and again.  I know my God is more powerful and will use it all for His glory.

Our lives were changed in a city in southern China in 2003 when we were handed this amazing little girl named Luo Hui Rong.  God opened our eyes to a very different world and our lives started a whirlwind of transformations.  Truly, our previous lives are unrecognizable.  If you have an undesirable plant in your garden, what do you do about it?  Do you pick at the leaves?  No.  You attack it where it began…you go straight to its roots.  We are a thorn in Satan’s side, and He just attacked the root of His problem- that sweet little girl who has both directly and indirectly touched a long line of people, many of which she will never know. 

God is so much bigger, that is the perspective we need to keep.  We all touch each other with our choices in life- and through us, God’s love is multiplied and far reaching.  We keep the Enemy writhing and squirming but all the while He is looking for His next opportunity.  He is there, perched and ready to try to raise doubt and insecurity…fear and desertedness. 

Thank you all for squashing Him with your prayers.  So many times I cried out to Him in the emergency room…in the various waiting rooms we were shuffled to…the PICU…the ped. ward.   “Spirit of doubt, I command you to leave here.  You have no place here.  Spirit of fear, you are not welcome.  You have no true power.  Our God has not left us- this we know.  His plan will prevail, against Him you are nothing.  You are not wanted- you do not belong.”  So many times I could feel the power of my words shrinking Him back into the dark corners where He came from.

And then, the warm blankets of your prayers surrounded us like the very arms of Christ.  We were held.  We could feel it.  Sophia’s aunt and uncle sent her a prayer shawl.  When she wrapped this around her and I read the enclosed prayer, I could visibly see concerns leave her sweet face.  She closed her eyes and drank in the words- her shoulder relaxed and she felt the love behind the words.  She understands the power of God in her life; she knows He is taking care of her.  I think that is why she is handling all of this so well and has been both brave and accepting as it all unfolds.

There are many unknowns regarding her condition.  It is going to take time and future testing to understand the scope of her condition.  God is here, holding us through all of you- providing, always providing.  A shiver just went down my spine as I wrote that last sentence.  As I have said before, I do not doubt God’s perfect will.  I know He is in total control.  I trust in His providence.  I also have a healthy fear of my Lord.  I know I will not be immune to pain or suffering.  I never thought for one moment that God had turned His back on us.  What I do fear is my own ability to handle what He has planned.   I do plead with Him for mercy over my own weaknesses.  God is always providing…He is also always stretching.  In that there is always uncertainty and fear…The choice is mine.  Buckling to the fear that grips my heart, or seizing the opportunity to lean more heavily on Him.